If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say, Shut Up!

When it comes to the VMAs, there's one thing for sure: this was fantastic publicity for all involved. Beyoncé reminded us of her class, Taylor turned on the charm, and Kanye's even more controversial than before. Meanwhile, MTV seems suddenly relevant and has reminded us all they're still the masters of media antics. The hype surrounding West's outburst was completely consistent with everyone's image, so it's a win-win-win-win.

I find Congressman Wilson's outburst more upsetting because it was more than just a rude exchange between two laymen. Rather, the President's speech symbolized a formal meeting between the Executive and Legislative Branches; in the same way the Supreme Court could never hand down a ruling with the outright declaration of "Liar," Wilson's comment demonstrated an ignorance and total lack of respect for the very government system of which he is a part. (Separately—and perhaps unfairly—I expect more from the allegedly educated leaders of this country than I do of a rap star.) But outbursts in Congress are nothing new, and I don't think it's fair to drag race into the question as many of the media's talking heads have done.

I'm undecided regarding Social Media as a culture change agent: perhaps it's simply amplified the echo chamber of extremists at whom we can point and gasp. Not only is it easier for us to find and gawk at racist, sexiest, etc. content and communities online, it's also one of the only places where those communities can grow and thrive. We advocate and encourage productive and entertaining online communities and discussions, but unfortunately the capability is there for all, even those who suck.

I am interested to see if the relative anonymity we're granted in online exchanges begins to change the decorum offline. Today, I can anonymously say online whatever I like with no damage to my reputation. In ten years, will it be acceptable to say the same things out loud with a similar non-result?

And is that a bad thing? Should we be less PC? Or in the same vein as Wilson's outburst, will it decrease our ability to function as a culture?

I'm not sure. But I do know NPR's On Point aired a fantastic segment last week called "Questions of Civility" that discussed these events and more. It's a great conversation—check it out here: http://www.onpointradio.org/2009/09/questions-o...

Michael, I think I partially disagree with what you've written. I agree that there are some that may feel that interrupting and speaking out of turn in such a manner is one way to get your voice heard. I'm very bad at interrupting people, mainly because i'm afraid i'm going to forget it if I don't get it out. It's a bad habit i'm trying to break, and I don't condone it.

Joe Wilson should be severely penalized. No matter how you disagree, it showed a lack of respect for Congress and the Presidential Office. Perhaps it's more a reflection of his upbringing, and maybe the case as well with Kanye.

My wife tells me stories, as the oldest of six, growing up in a strict household, not really strict, but where their Father made sure they knew who was in charge, and certain behavior would not be tolerated.

You can't discipline your child today in a supermarket for fear of child services being called, or worse. So, where's the discipline? Where's the respect?

Yeah, it's great marketing, and know one knew of Joe Wilson beforehand, and he's received lots of donations lately. But at what cost are we losing our ability to voice our opinions in a manner that is polite and is still heard. I don't know.

Social media is forcing our entire population into one rather public group dynamics exercise. In the standard "forming, storming, norming" progression that we're going through, we're still very much storming, where people "let up on politeness" to get to the issues. Until we figure out what the new rules are, I think we're going to see a lot more of this. I'm hopeful, though, that the collective--usually negative--response to these outbursts will eventually set up norms more in line with manners as we've known them.

Great comment. The way of handling troublemakers in a community in the past involved throwing them out of the community. Unfortunately, there's no way to make an influencer stop posting or saying controversial things just to be heard above the din. And there's no modern equivalent of kicking them out of a community.

I believe the cure is for the community to act collectively to let these troublemakers know that their behavior is unacceptable. Whether the troublemaker is a person or a corporation, they must be held accountable by the community. So, there's no current equivalent to sending the inmates to Australia. But we can shame them with our refusal to follow them, retweet them, acknowledge them, and so forth. When we can transcend the soundbite and get to real dialogue, we'll have civility.

Well here's some of the same sunny optimism that at times makes my face very punchable, but I think I see the opposite happening too, by people who choose to ignore the yelling. Ted.com and Reddit.com jump to mind as two places that are all about civil discourse - then again sometimes that's jut not that much fun...

I think both outbursts were simply the mouth working way before the brain had a chance to realize what was going on. The brain was taking a rest and good ol' mouth seized the opportunity to run the show. I don't think Joe Wilsons interuption was any more race based than Kanye's was.

It is arrogance fueling their thought process that people really really really want to hear what they have to say. Basically they are the kid in class that asks a question that they already know the answer too, they just want to make sure everyone knows they know what they are talking about. But you are absolutely right, that is what people are talking about, there is no such thing as bad press.

I have to disagree here. Negativity only begets more negativity. With social media, we are constantly interacting with people we don't always know in person, and it's easy for feelings to get hurt or words written in jest to be taken as genuine.

Kanye will get attention, but I don't think it's the kind of attention (or reputation) any of us really want. Keep in mind he's already apologized three times in different forums.

Interesting perspective, though.

Aaron, I think that what's happening is that people are losing their filters because the walls are coming down thanks to social media. And people of influence, be they rappers or politicians, need to know that their every comment is being parsed by the media and the public. What this whole situation proves to me is that influence, and using it to say something controversial, enables the influential to trump the dialogue of the masses, so that all they do is discuss the shocking statement or act, without dealing with the issues. What we've seen this week is an amazing ability for those with influence to shape discussions. I'm just hoping that the many are more powerful than the few to create real influence. Isn't that the dream of social(ist) media, really?

Hahaha! That would be the best movie ever.

Another hypothesis for this phenomenon could be the lack of public filter that people are developing due to the influence of social media. People have always had no problem vocally sharing their opinions in the privacy of their own home or their circle of friends. However, now that those conversations are often taking place in front of the world, it has become commonplace to post scandalous pictures and offending comments with no regard to who might see them.

I think that soon most people will realize that the consequences for public actions are still the same. Although, from Congress I expect more common sense.